A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand
The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed
But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:
"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"
I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer
So I'll give you every breadth that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"
Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small
I trust in you
I trust in you
Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small
For those who have me on msn, you'd have seen that this is written in my nick. When i first heard the song, I thought it was very meaningful, even today i still think it is. I think it gives me a different view of who I am...i mean the story of the 5 loaves and 2 fishes..was all the time taught as a story where God's greatness is displayed...but in this song, it gives me a different view of things. This song tells me that God can use me, and He can use me in whatever broken state that I am for His purpose. With 5 loaves and 2 fishes, Jesus fed thousands of people. How much more can he do with me. ¶ 7:03 PM 0 Comments
it's gonna be my birthday in a couple of days!!
now we return to our regular programming.
24 years of existence, what can I say for myself? Nothing much really :p
anyway, I guess i'm a bundle of contradiction. On one hand i would really appreciate it if ppl did remember my birthday. On the other, I believe i shouldn't announce it to the world. and yet again, i feel sorely disappointed when the day comes and goes when I didn't get as many wishes/presents as i'd have hoped
on another note, it's also somewhat similar when it comes to relationships. On one hand it's great to have good personal platonic friendship. on another hand, feelings do grow, and it would be nice to take things to a whole new level. BUT trying to change the current status could lead to more disastrous results such as losing your friend.
should we therefore maintain the status quo, live in a life we're comfortable with, or take the risk to make things potentially better. The thing about risks is tho there are rewards, there will also be the possibility of losing out as well. the safest bet is to remain as it is, unchanging but is that the best solution. Some would say to take some form of calculated risk, that we have proper risk management, but no matter how well you calculate a risk is your risk. I guess the question now becomes, is it something that you can consider losing? i.e. if the risk doesn't work out, are you willing to accept the worse off situation?
for me most of the time the answer is no. and so the status quo remains, that we shall not change anything since we're so comfortable with it. if only there are clearer indicators. like i've wished b4, that people could wear their hearts on their sleeves. and yet, putting our hearts on our sleeves leaves us in a vulnerable position, for others to rip it out. and yet we require trust.
contradictions contradictions contradictions.
i crave companionship.
having lotsa random thoughts, random musings and ideas. I miss having my nightwalks. Perhaps tat's y i enjoy night safari so much. The night walks together with the tranquility of nature. Interesting world we live in, so many people passing by. Wonder what's in their mind. A penny for YOUR thoughts? well we're in sgd, twenty cents for a piece of your mind?
work is fun. getting more interesting, challenging and harrowing. but i still think its fun.
gonna celebrate my bday at work. with the ppl i work with.
on another note, after we enter this new chapter called work, some of my other colleagues are already beginning to pen their new chapter called marriage. quite interesting really. can't imagine it being me. as it is i've not obtained the muse required to pen the chapter. but really interesting. 3 colleagus at least, 2 of similar age. does that mean i'm a late bloomer? maybe that means i'm a failure?
do u remember the times of past, where education seems to determine your status in life. where in school, what matters is not the person who has seen the most, or read the most but rather the person who has the most a's. i've always wondered how that is a true reflection of life. are ppl who are succesful in school succesful in real life? ppl seem to believe it then. but i wonder about it now.
random thoughts random musings random ideas.
i type a lot i realise. one last thing. surgery's gonna be either early nov or in january. chance of death is real. well, all i can say is, i''ve few regrets. and i'm truly grateful and appreciative for all that i've gone through and all that i have. That God has truly blest me in my life. tho there are a few things that i wished were different, these are not within my control.
regards
+cxtreme
¶ 6:37 PM 3 Comments
time heals all wounds..
time is golden..
time is transient..
time is a figment of imagination..
time bears witness to all..
time once lost can never be regained..
it's been about a month plus since i started work.. but i dont think that anything has changed in anyway. I mean, you hear about people talking about 'chapter's in your life..where you change from being one to being another, but for me it remains pretty much the same. I wear the same clothes as when i was studying and i think i still behave the same. Knowledgeable in some areas, mature in others, while being ignorant and childish when it comes to other aspects of life..things haven't changed at all..
on another note, DNA test results are back. And the results show that we can go ahead with the transplantation pending some other minor tests to be done first. Hmm, thinking about this issue I guess has brought the whole issue of mortality to mind. The surgery, although not very risky can potentially lead to death, as in we're never too sure if everything's gonna go alright. If things go wrong, it could also lead to a lower standard of life for myself. Well I guess this isn't the real issue when it comes to myself. I mean, i've made a commitment and I really want to see it through. Plus i'd do anything to help the little fella, even if it means sacrificing my life.
I remember a story about a kid, who was asked to donate blood his bone marrow to his brother I believe. And after looking fearful for a while, and giving it some thought, the kid said okay. And he told his parents to take care of his brother after he was dead. Being young, he couldn't fully understand the concept of donation, and he thought that by doing the act of donating, he would die after that. And still, he bravely went ahead in the face of death, all for his brother.
I guess for me, even if they would tell me that the chances for mortality is high, i would go ahead and do it. I think i've had quite an interesting life so far, fulfilling to a high degree and with few regrets. But the question would be...if i was faced with death maybe next week, what would I do today? Are there things that i haven't done or haven't said? are there apologies to be made, loose ends to be tied up? Are there things to put in order? And are there wishes to be fulfilled?
i guess words cannot adequately express how i feel right now.. ¶ 9:50 PM 0 Comments
You either die a hero, or live long enough to become the villain - Harvey Dent-
Dark Knight I feel is one of the best movies so far that i've watched. In a sense, it's a 'thinking' movie, something that will make you pause for a moment and ponder the issues. Not to mention Batpod from the Tumbler is way-way cool!!! .
But one thing i've never did figure out was Batman's motivation. The joker, he's simple, he's just maniacal. But Batman, what drives him? He doesn't believe that Gotham isn't evil, or is deeply convinced that it is worth saving, i mean maybe he does but i just don't get that vibe from him. He's a more cynical superhero than that, different from Jonathan Stark of Ironmen who became a hero becuase of the memory of his weapons causing destruction and of his friend in the cave. Superman oozes pure Goodness, so no choice..gotta be the good guy...but Batman, in this dark knigh series, i really can't figure out. Maybe initially it's to impress his gal pal, but then he got so attached to his character. Now it appears to me that catching criminal is more of a sport to Batman, something to be done for fun and entertainment. In that, he is no different and is as maniacal as the Joker, who robs banks for fun. Only difference is perhaps his rules or his code of ethics.
On another front, it is quite sad to see things turn this badly this fast. And no, my reaction would have been the same if it was anybody else, if what they had done had been so obvious and in your face. I wouldn't say that it wasn't unexpected, just the speed and severity of it left me a little dumbfounded. And it did wonders for my self-esteem too but i guess Life goes on... I dont really know how to explain this, but things really aren't what they seem to be, to a certain degree. I really should stop playing mind games..
goodnight ¶ 10:29 PM 0 Comments
