Of Deaths and Fireworks..... I'm currently 3 weeks into school ...with tutorials just starting this week....
Basically the first week of school was quite a sad week for me......emotionally draining, tiring both physically and mentally but i'll talk about that another day.

Today, we shall talk on the topic of death. This is something that's quite a recent issue for me. Honestly i've never been too exposed to death before....often going for funerals...but only because i got paid 10 bucks and it was my obligation to my school band ( we were a funeral band). The first real death i encountered was that of my grandfather...a year ago....

Since then..things have been rather peaceful for me.....until about three weeks ago. Up to now i've heard of 4 deaths.....all people that i knew....and people that i interacted with.

The first was an elder at my church....a very jovial and friendly man with white hair....i always remember him as the guy with a milk moustache everytime cause that's what he'll look like at the coffee corner after church. Always with a word of encouragement, he spoke to me on a variety of issues including religion, studies, faith...and even encouraged me to serve in the music ministry more...as his son was doing so in the states..and was being paid for it. Now i guess, i won't get to see him anymore....last i saw him was perhaps around half a year ago during Christmas service. I will miss his jovial spirit....but i think the real pain is in the fact that his family will miss him more.

The last death that i've heard of was just today. The pastor of my church passed away this morning.....due to heart attack. To be honest i din't really know him that well...as he's quite a new pastor in my church tho he's probably 60 plus years old...

The 2 deaths that affected me quite badly...but not as bad as others were of ppl in the prime of their lives.......
One was Abdul Rahman....a 16 year old boy of ST Michael....He was a band member and a school debator.....always cheerful, always with a joke in mind but always respectful of his elders. He was one..if he was stil alive to probably be a prime minister or a leader of the country...such capable lad. Although i've met him for very few times...one was during the combined band performance....and the other was this year during our state debate....i can feel the lost that's felt with his passing. Even the band members of my band...located 90 km away from him is mourning his passing. When i called his leader i could hear the sadness and the tears in his voice. Such was the great lost felt. But even worse, the lost of such a great leader..of such a great potential..The problem was no one expected him to go.No one thought that one day they'll go to school and hear the news of the demise of a friend. But go he did....he drowned and his father was unable to save him...such is the guilt and regret that will be borne by his family...my heart goes out to them...i guess we will never hear him play the bells again....but in our hearts he'll live on.


Then, there's the brother of a friend of mine....though i've not met him in my life, i know how his life has impacted his family. A strong soul, he has been strong throughout the whole duration of his life and his disease.Never during his disease did he complain..though the pain he was suffering was evident......in the end, he lost the battle and is now with the Saviour. A true saint, he has been devoted to the faith......his family has not been taking it well...but i believe that they'll come through this together and stronger....... (read my previous post at myxanga
for futher context)

It is never right for parents to bury their children. To the chinese this is taboo.....but it did happen in 2 of the 4 instances here....and it was certainly heartwrenching to the families involved. I can only imagine what they feel like...as i've certainly not experienced it personally and would not want to experience it as well. But i guess what we can learn from this ....and truly learn is that life is fragile. It can be snuffed out at the most unexpected moment...at a time when you're at your peak, your prime........and even then..not only our lives..but the lives of others are equally fragile.....so for the moment...say a prayer of thanks for the lives of your family and friends....and be truly grateful for them....show your appreciation to everybody.....

i guess i really wanna say that i truly appreciate all teh friends and family taht i have. Though i can't get myself to say it face to face...one day i will...but even if i dont' know it from the bottom of my heart that i love you....

and speaking about my own life......if i should die tomorrow...this is how i'd like to go.......i was just reading an article where some guy's ashes were scattered from a 15 storey tower while the fireworks go off.....for me..i'd like it to be something different...something celebratory.....something where people can reflect..and realise that i've lived a fulfilling life with no regrets. I'd like to be cremated...and my ashes compacted with gunpowder and fireworks......for every year that i've lived...i'd like a fireworks display that goese on for 1 minute with my ashes in it.....i'm gonna be 21 soon..so i guess if i die now..that'll be a 21 minute firework display.....better start saving money for the pyrotechnics now :p

a grand way to go don't you think?

-of deaths and fireworks-
if ever i should die
don't ever be sad
do not ever cry..
but indeed be glad..

for a fulfilling live i've lived
one with few regrets
and with a blast i'd leave
in fireworks no less....  ¶ 1:06 AM 0 Comments

  Hmm....decided to migrate here as this place seems abit more better equipped. Give me some time and i'll start putting up more things....like a chatbox, and also a flickr digest

Previous blog is at www.xanga.com/cxlime

visit for some interesting thoughts....  ¶ 9:01 AM 1 Comments