now we return to our regular programming.

24 years of existence, what can I say for myself? Nothing much really :p

anyway, I guess i'm a bundle of contradiction. On one hand i would really appreciate it if ppl did remember my birthday. On the other, I believe i shouldn't announce it to the world. and yet again, i feel sorely disappointed when the day comes and goes when I didn't get as many wishes/presents as i'd have hoped

on another note, it's also somewhat similar when it comes to relationships. On one hand it's great to have good personal platonic friendship. on another hand, feelings do grow, and it would be nice to take things to a whole new level. BUT trying to change the current status could lead to more disastrous results such as losing your friend.

should we therefore maintain the status quo, live in a life we're comfortable with, or take the risk to make things potentially better. The thing about risks is tho there are rewards, there will also be the possibility of losing out as well. the safest bet is to remain as it is, unchanging but is that the best solution. Some would say to take some form of calculated risk, that we have proper risk management, but no matter how well you calculate a risk is your risk. I guess the question now becomes, is it something that you can consider losing? i.e. if the risk doesn't work out, are you willing to accept the worse off situation?

for me most of the time the answer is no. and so the status quo remains, that we shall not change anything since we're so comfortable with it. if only there are clearer indicators. like i've wished b4, that people could wear their hearts on their sleeves. and yet, putting our hearts on our sleeves leaves us in a vulnerable position, for others to rip it out. and yet we require trust.

contradictions contradictions contradictions.

i crave companionship.

having lotsa random thoughts, random musings and ideas. I miss having my nightwalks. Perhaps tat's y i enjoy night safari so much. The night walks together with the tranquility of nature. Interesting world we live in, so many people passing by. Wonder what's in their mind. A penny for YOUR thoughts? well we're in sgd, twenty cents for a piece of your mind?

work is fun. getting more interesting, challenging and harrowing. but i still think its fun.

gonna celebrate my bday at work. with the ppl i work with.

on another note, after we enter this new chapter called work, some of my other colleagues are already beginning to pen their new chapter called marriage. quite interesting really. can't imagine it being me. as it is i've not obtained the muse required to pen the chapter. but really interesting. 3 colleagus at least, 2 of similar age. does that mean i'm a late bloomer? maybe that means i'm a failure?

do u remember the times of past, where education seems to determine your status in life. where in school, what matters is not the person who has seen the most, or read the most but rather the person who has the most a's. i've always wondered how that is a true reflection of life. are ppl who are succesful in school succesful in real life? ppl seem to believe it then. but i wonder about it now.

random thoughts random musings random ideas.

i type a lot i realise. one last thing. surgery's gonna be either early nov or in january. chance of death is real. well, all i can say is, i''ve few regrets. and i'm truly grateful and appreciative for all that i've gone through and all that i have. That God has truly blest me in my life. tho there are a few things that i wished were different, these are not within my control.

regards

+cxtreme

¶ 6:37 PM