Hair for Hope 2008

I was thinking that there are very few people who bother to read what i write and thus I shouldn't make the effort to write. Nevertheless, I owe it to these very few people to write my thoughts out, even if at the end of the day there is only 1, 1 is much more than 0. So thank you to all of you who are frequenting this site, especially those of you who were here since the beginning.

Hair for Hope is a project initiated in Singapore. I've been giving it a bit more thought these few days especially as the looming dateline draws near. The actual event will take place on 6th of July 2008 from 12pm to 7pm while the slot where i'll be shaven bald is supposed to take place at 2.30pm

I guess some of you must be wondering what made me take this drastic step. Especially my mom who is at the moment thinks i'm crazy enough to go bald..especially 1 day b4 my graduation ceremony. This has been something that i've wanted to do for a while, having wanted to join the previous events last year and the year before that but not having the courage to do so. That and more often than not, the dateline has passed when i realised about the event. This year, i chanced upon the poster early and immediately went to check it out. Of course i pondered over the decision on whether to do it, i guess for a few days as i still didn't have the guts to do it.

At that time, it was more of trying out something new (i've never been bald before) or simply trying to act a little heroic by doing something others wont do (my fren ms sam will attest to this hero complex within me). However, I have to admit here, that I am getting a little bit of cold feet trying to imagine what it'll be like for me to be bald... especially since now that D-day is at hand. This was especially so when i sat in the volunteers briefing, and saw my other compatriots with me, that i realise that there's no turning back, that what started of as a dare or a challenge is now taking place...that maybe..i dont want to be bald!, that i'll be laughed at!

Self esteem has never been my strong point throughout all these years. I'm always wary of how i look like although a strong pretense might make others think that i'm actually not aware. Having been on the obese side when i was younger (and now as well) i've suffered endless tauntings and pinchings, and teasings, which made me even more sensitive to the situation. The confident individual, poised up on the stage to deliver a speech or rebut a point, that many people know of, is more of an act i would say, one of the many masks i wear. As such, i'm never confident of how i look nor feel confident about myself which is why i started to doubt myself with this shaving thing. I mean..going bald? never in my life would i have thought that! not even when the government almost made it compulsory back in secondary school...and here i've already signed on for it. maybe it isn't too late to just disappear, pretend that it didn't happen.

However, as the night wore on through the briefing, a different realization dawned upon me and i began to take strength and courage from others, especially the cancer kids (or children with cancer) They weren't there but their stories certainly did inspire me.

Childhood cancer, is different from adult cancer whereby it is not the fault of the child that s/he is afflicted with the disease. Through some cosmic imbalance or wonder, the child is born and later on develop cancerous cells that rampage and ravage through the body. The child does not torture his lungs with black acid smoke from a cigarette, neither does he burden his liver with tons of alcohol in binge drinking. Yet, unlike an adult who calls upon himself the disease, the child is afflicted all at once through no fault of his. What is sad is that a number of these children will not be able to go through their teenage years while if they survive, side effects will still linger on. These disease such as leukemia, neuroblastoma etc does not discriminate and can happen to anyone.

While i worried about the shame and humiliation i might have to endure by going bald, or reflect on the tauntings i had as a child, someone spoke of the bullying and mental agony that this children will go through. EVen as adults, be we male or female, we shun the thought of being hairless or ball although we're too polite to say so. But then what about the children? imagine, after all the radiotherapy and chemotherapy, the child will be without eyelashes or eyebrows and even hair. What will happen when this child goes back to school? or to society? many other children will stare and taunt him, and tease him calling him a freak and such. I think at the end of the day this is one of the reasons why i'm doing it. To tell the child, that although it may be embarassing, it is no big deal, that people who say such things are stupid and ignorant in the first place, that the child, having had the courage to go through this series of treatment, is far braver than others who go through normal lives, that these child have a heart far stronger and more beautiful than others. And through this, i've taken courage. I only hope that what I've done can make a difference and hopefully we're closer towards eradicating cancer from this world.

I'm not here to ask for donation, as i'm doing this for myself, absorbing the strength from these children. However, if you feel compelled to donate towards the cause, the website is at http://ccf.org.sg/hfh with my own personal profile at http://www.ccf.org.sg/hfh/webApp/shaveeBIO.php?shaveeId=392 . Any donation done on or before july 2nd will be matched by my brother Kenneth, while all credit card commision charges will be born by totalisator board so your entire donation will go towards the foundation. The foundation itself is involved in programs such as therapeutic play where children coming for treatment can play in the centres which are located within the hospital. This is to give an impression to the children that hospitals are not only about needles and drugs, but is a place where play happens as well, so that they are not traumatised about it. Likewise, the foundation offers bereavement services to the families of our little friends who God found to be more precious and more needed in heaven. The foundation has also confirmed that at least 86% of funds collected will go towards the beneficiary, with the remainder being used for administration cost.

I think that's all I have to say for now..thank you for reading.  ¶ 11:21 PM